When I began my courses in seminary, I had been out of school for seven years. I was advised by a friend to begin by taking one course in order to see how I did, learn to study again, etc. I didn’t have the luxury of doing this. My financial aid providers all required me to take 12 hours. This confused me since nine hours is typically considered a full load at the graduate level. My friends in other graduate programs wondered at my ability to handle such a load. My answer was that I needed to do it in order to get financial aid which was vital to me; and I would find a way to manage the load. I did find a way; and in time I even took a couple of 15-hour semesters.
In order to prepare myself for such a shock to my days, I began to keep track of my activities and to measure my tolerance for an increasing amount of appointments, reading material, etc. I attended a training for small group leaders at my church and practiced my study skills by organizing the handouts in advance.
During my first week of classes, waves of fatigue and anxiety swept over me; and I wondered whether I had taken on far more than I could handle. Eventually, I slept deeply; and deep sleep altered my perspective. After a couple of weeks, I began to gain my footing.
During orientation sessions, a faculty member emphasized the importance of balancing various aspects of life while in seminary: work, devotional life, relationships, self-care, rest, and play… Another faculty member spoke about a concept that was completely new to me. He said, “Your four-word commission: you are God’s beloved.” I had always thought of “commission” in terms of action: “Go and make disciples.” Throughout that first semester, I would begin to learn what it means to live as God’s beloved; and this would revolutionize my understanding of the action-commission. It would also give me the fortitude that I needed to do what had to be done in order to succeed in a 12 or even 15-hour semester.
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