Sarah Blake LaRose

Note: Sarah is the author of this page for the sake of linguistic simplicity. Kevin and I created it together in terms of content and ideas, and it should be read with this in mind.

Kevin and I have shared a long relationship, first as friends and fellow advocates through the American Council of the Blind. We lived in different states; and we nurtured our relationship through occasional visits and shared participation in ACB conventions as well as email and Skype. Kevin was baptized here at my church before we were married, having not ever taken that step in his faith ppreviously. I hope you will read his baptism story. We were married on June 9, 2012, in Anderson, and Kevin relocated to Anderson from Washington state. The task of combining households for two adults who have been living independently for several years has been an interesting and sometimes challenging one. Additionally, Kevin and I have faced some unforeseen challenges since getting married.

The Wedding

We planned for a small but fairly traditional wedding at my church. One of the most important things for us was vows. We both wanted to write our vows; and we wanted them to be a reflection of our theology about marriage and our personal commitment to each other. Looking back, we would not change one thing about this process; and every day of our lives now is an affirmation of everything we wrote.

We prepared a budget with the help of the pastor which included Kevin’s moving expenses and our preparations for setting up our new home. As we prepared our budget, we discovered that we would need to scale back our wedding plans a bit. So we moved the wedding from the large sanctuary to a reception area, which we planned to set up as an informal wedding/reception event.

Changing this plan was painful for me. I had invited a friend to sing who was an accomplished vocalist; and it became necessary to inform her that the ceremony had become so informal that we would not be using special music. This felt like the ultimate bad etiquette, especially when I said that I hoped she would still come in from out of state. But I did–after all, I did still hope she would share in our special time, because she was my friend.

Little did we know what lay ahead.

Five days before the wedding, Kevin was hospitalized with pneumonia. Both of his lungs were collapsed, and he was also diagnosed with diabetes, asthma, and chronic hypertension. We modified our wedding plans–again–so that we could get married while he was in the hospital.

Our wedding was featured in The Herald Bulletin, the local newspaper here in Anderson. Read the article here. While Kevin was still in the hospital, I posted media from the wedding with some reflections. Watch, listen, and read.

Life with Chronic Illness

The concept of living with chronic illness was not new to us. I live with several medical conditions. Kevin and I discussed these things a lot before beginning to plan our marriage. I needed to know that he was aware of the impact these things would have on both of our lives and that he was willing to commit to this journey.

Neither of us were prepared for the impact of his illness. We expected to start our lives together with him relatively healthy. His blindness was a known factor. The diagnoses in the hospital changed everything for us.

Kevin had pneumonia twice more and also had two surgeries during the next 18 months. He had a third surgery in 2017, and in 2020 we celebrated the removal of the plate from his right wrist and the healing of a 12-year infection. I have also had bronchitis and several surgeries over the years. Our identity as a married couple is far from what we expected.

For a long time, we continued to hope for one or both of us to get off the medical roller coaster. After all, we are both relatively young. If we went back to work at traditional jobs, we could work 20 years or more.

As of 2018, Kevin still sometimes uses a nebulizer four times a day. This means he spends three hours a day on the machine. I expect to have more eye surgeries within my lifetime. Life will not likely change for us.

On the positive side, we enjoy life together. We enjoy time with Kevin’s daughter when she is here. Kevin, who had a violent allergy to cats early in our relationship, no longer shows any allergic sensitivity to cats on testing. He has declared our home to be “a 3-cat household.” We have learned to nurture our relationship in special ways when illness and financial difficulty constrain us. Kevin has also supported me through the amazing journey of getting my Doctor of Ministry.

Our thoughts about our wedding have not changed over time. It was not what we would have planned, but it has helped us to begin to live into the vows we wrote and to focus completely on the things that matter. We would not change it. The headline from the Herald Bulletin article often beats through our lives like a drum. We have time in the day for “all that matters”. And “all that matters” is what we run the race to do in life.

If you would like to contact us, please send email to Sarah.