Now that we are all vaccinated, my husband and I went with a friend to have dinner at a restaurant tonight. We were not surprised when we had to wait to be seated. We were surprised by two things. One was the number of people who stopped on their way to the courtesy stand in order to hold their hands out to my Seeing Eye dog as if we were there to greet them. The other was the behavior of a patron who had a little dog wearing a service dog vest.
As she walked near to us, I held both ends of my dog’s leash loosely in case I needed to respond, but I did not expect anything. My dog is dog-avoidant and I am happy with this.
As she passed, the other lady said, “Oh another one. A friend!” And she turned away from her course in order to approach us.
I don’t know the nature of the lady’s dog’s service, and it is not my business to ask. I do know one thing: my dog is not here to be anyone else’s dog’s friend. Whether a person’s dog is a puppy in training, a service dog for another disability, an emotional support dog, or a pet that has been fitted with an illegally purchased vet that says it is a service dog, it doesn’t really matter. What matters to me is the behavior of the person accompanying the dog.
My dog is in this place to do one thing: guide me. If that person approaches me with their dog in order to allow them to become buddies, that person has interfered with my dog’s work.
Please don’t do this. Whatever you think your dog is there to do, however much you might enjoy it when people pet your dog and talk about how cute she is, please know this:
My dog is not your dog’s friend. My dog is not anyone else’s friend. My dog is working.
My friend graciously moved in front of my dog so that she would not attract so many hands, “Oooooh’s” and “good puppy” comments while we waited. I appreciated her discrete act of kindness. My dog tried very hard to ignore everyone, but it sure is hard when people put their fingers right in front of the dog’s nose and stare into her eyes.
I wrote my previous paragraphs without addressing anyone directly, but I now turn to addressing the world. In almost every place I go, I encounter dog lovers who want to tell me about the five or six dogs they have at home. This is increasing with pandemic restrictions being lifted.
I’m glad you have dogs at home. This means you can keep your hands off my dog and save your love for your dogs. If we are in public, please be aware that there may be many, many things on my mind and I may or may not wish to talk about dogs at the moment. If we are in a medical building, I may not wish to talk at all. If I am eating, please be especially mindful and do not touch my dog! The dog might be behaving well at the time, but your assumption that it will continue to do so can have quite embarrassing consequences. Dogs that are just home from training still struggle with their puppy instincts and sometimes your love might be their favorite thing to jump up for. Your attention to some working dogs will unleash a torrent of hyperactivity that will take joy away from the meal that is being eaten by the human because the human must settle the dog bacck under the table, where she should have remained at all times and would have remained without human petting distraction.
In short: my dog is not your friend. My dog is working. If she is distracted by you, she cannot do the job she was trained to do–you know, that job you are probably busy admiring her for.
Yes, my dog is my friend, though I also have other friends. I have to wonder: if people think my dog is my best friend, why do they always want my dog to be their friend? Why do they disrespect the work that is the nature of the relationship we have?
This relationship goes so far above the fact that I love my dog. It is much different from what you feel when you get home and your dog slathers kisses on your face. It is a relationnship borne out of knowing that when you step off a street corner, a person could run a red light driving a hybrid car, you would not hear it, and this dog would turn herself around and drag you back so fast you wouldn’t know what happened until you thought about it 20 times later or someone who saw it told you about it. No human being could do it. Human beings can’t hear that well and can’t run or drag that well. Not only that, but humans would live by their guilt and trauma afterward if they failed.
How do I know? I have worked with a dog that failed, and I have worked with her during the time it took to get her confidence back. That dog was my friend, no one else’s.
This dog that I am working today is young, and she has the skills to protect me in that way. Not as a guard, but as a guide. She can only do it if other people respect our work together.
Please, however much you love dogs, respect this one thing. My dog is not your friend.
I am your friend. If you want to be a social person, please speak to me. I will appreciate it. I enjoy people. Don’t stop with your dog stories. I may have to start finding unusual pieces of jewelry to wear in order to manipulate conversations…
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How old is she?