One of the greatest temptations when working through trauma–or any kind of situation involving hurt–is to hold on to anger as if it is my right to feel it. I have even read comments from some people via books and articles that it isn’t necessary to forgive the person who hurt you. After all, the hurt wasn’t your fault and that [insert favorite angry pet name] deserves your anger.
What a toxic emotional situation that kind of anger creates personally! It’s hard to move ahead when I’m dragging around all that negative emotion. Sometimes my response to this becomes, “In time forgiveness might be possible, but I have to do some healing first.”
Amazingly, this slow recovery habit has seeped into Christian circles so deeply that I don’t remember the last time I heard a good exhortation to forgive.
When Jesus forgave the people who battered and beat him, made fun of him for not using his godly powers to save himself, and publicly punished him for crimes he didn’t commit via prolonged public execution (that is long description for crucifixion, a word that I think has become overused), he didn’t get any “healing time” or chances to nurse his anger and make up his mind. He forgave while he was bleeding and dying and crying out because he felt that God Himself had abandoned him.
To forgive under those circumstances shows the height of spiritual maturity and grace. Forgiveness is not something we do when we feel ready. It certainly would mean something emotionally to the other person at that point. But forgiveness in the midst of woundedness and pain shows personal sacrifice and humility; and that means we have begun to learn what it means to be like Christ.
