I have a very firm policy regarding theology: I cannot argue against it if I haven’t first read it with an open mind. It is with that policy that I read a blog post entitled 6 Reasons Not to Send Your Daughter to College.
I must admit up front that I have biases. I am a female who went to college. I spent two years at a Christian liberal arts college before transferring to a state college. Finally, I have a graduate degree from an accredited theological school. I’m sure this admission alone will generate enough flack from anyone who sides with the author of the linked post that I will end up writing follow-up posts regarding related issues. In addition, I hold to a theological viewpoint that understands that men and women are equal. I do not believe that God created women solely to be wives and mothers, though that is one of the roles that women play in society.
So let me comment on these reasons to not send your daughter to college.
She will attract the wrong types of men.
I could write volumes on this. First, it implies that if she stays out of college (and, presumably, safely within the little church community), she will not attract the wrong types of men. Secondly, it presumes that she will attract the right types of men (because they will also be in the church community). There is a lot of assuming going on here. In my experience, there are better ways to make sure that a young woman attracts the right types of men–and better ways to make sure that she doesn’t attract the wrong ones. Is that church community as safe as you think it is? Never, ever assume so, people.
The author’s real problem seems to be with men who don’t hold up their end of marital responsibilities and, instead of working and providing their part of the family income, they rely on professional women to hold the family together. It isn’t colleges producing this problem. It is society in general, and that includes a great number of Christian parents. College is a place to learn professionalism. By the time a person gets there, many of the attitudes that carry over into adulthood have already been cemented.
[Paraphrased]: The environment will make her sin.
I will simply comment on a general aspect of theology here and leave it at that. Some people’s response to the possibility of sin is to run away from it completely so that there is no way they can be tempted at all. It’s pretty hard for that new life in Christ to be evident when we never go anywhere. In my experience as a Christian, overcoming sin is a matter of being wise and living in the power of the Holy Spirit. This author makes college sound like girls are moving into a dormitory where a boy sleeps in the very next bed!
She will not learn to be a wife and a mother.
Again, this implies that if you don’t send her to college, she will learn those things–and, further, that she is destined to have children and a husband who will need a wife and a mother. As a person who made a medically-based decision to not have children, I sure am glad I didn’t spend so much time learning just mothering skills! It would have increased the pain of my decision ten thousand-fold!
The cost is difficult to recoop.
Oh really? And that isn’t true for sons?
You don’t have to prove anything to the world.
I don’t know about other females, but that isn’t the reason why I went to college 23 years ago. This author makes some mighty big assumptions about other people’s motivations. I went to college because I expected to learn a means of supporting myself–and I did not expect to find Mr. Right.
[Paraphrased]: The parents will sin by taking on debt to pay for the children’s education.
And this would not be true for the sons as well? The author’s real point seems to be that the girls will become mothers and stop working, and the parents’ investment will be wasted.
She will regret it.
Speaking as a person who has not been able to find full-time employment using my degree, I will say this. Not once have I ever regretted undertaking my studies. Yes, I have been afraid. Yes, I have felt deep sadness. But never, ever have I regretted doing this; nor have I felt that it was irresponsible. I use that knowledge every day in the service of society, even if only as a volunteer.
It could interfere with religious vocations.
Perhaps in some vocations that is true. On the other hand, I undertook more study precisely because I needed better grounding in religious studies, in particular biblical languages. Could I have studied these things on my own? Some people do. However, in the vast majority of cases it is best to have a teacher and other students with whom to study. And I would never have discovered that I had any gifts as a teacher of adults if I had not gone to seminary. I stand by what I wrote above. I cannot ever regret going to seminary, debt or none.
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Good post, Sarah! Some people have crazy ideas, don’t they?
I went and read the post you linked to, expecting….I don’t know what. But I wasn’t expecting a bonified trip back into Puritan England (someone somewhere is shaking their fist at me for grouping Puritans and Catholics together wrongly, I apologize, history). You make excellent points here, and I think the author needs to stop assuming that all that goes wrong is college’s fault, and take a look at other environmental factors. I’m with you–I did school to get training, and also to learn. I loved it; still do. (sorry, really long comment). Thanks for posting.