I have just returned from my annual trip to convene with a group of blind people for advocacy, seminars on various topics of interest, fun and fellowship, and general motivation. I posted several things on Facebook about my frustrations with this travel experience, most of which had to do with assumptions that people made about when and how to help me. Often the response to these posts is, “People are just trying to help. Don’t be upset with them.” I don’t get that much grace when I try to do something helpful and it is not what the person wants. It is a natural response for the person to become frustrated and ask the person who is trying to help to stop what they are doing unhelpfully. Once the behavior is stopped, the person either continues alone or redirects the person in what to do to help in a meaningful way.
Having said all that, some general guidelines may be useful in interactions with people who are blind, in no particular order. I left some of these in the first-person, though they are intended to apply generally.
1. If a person suddenly appears in front of you, it does not mean that they need help. If they have come out of an elevator or around a corner, or they are walking down the street alone, please assume that they are capable of knowing their own whereabouts. Say hello like you would to anyone else.
2. If they are traveling with a dog, and I say “find [something[” or “[inside/outside]” they are probably not in need of help. These are commands that the dog is taught to obey. If you begin giving directions, the dog and human will become distracted by having to listen to you. If you grab the person, the dog will stop working and the person will have to ask you to let go. Even if you think you are preventing the person from entering a dangerous situation, you can cause injury by grabbing a person and interfering with the dog’s work. Please just say hello and let the dog do its job. Please don’t stand around and stare to see if the dog works correctly. It distracts the dog. If you say hello in passing, the person will get the point that you are around.
3. If I ask you to allow me to follow you, please strike up a normal conversation as we walk. Please don’t repeat “Follow my voice,” over and over, tell me to keep right, etc, or talk to my dog. If I asked to follow you, it is beccause I chose to take my own responsibility for my part of the travel. You are serving as a general guide for where I need to go, not a marker for every single step I take. If you see my dog hanging left, there is a reason for that. We will go around things that should be gone around, including people who approach from the other direction.
4. If I am in your office and need to fill out paperwork, the person who drove me is not automatically authorized to assist in that process. There may be reasons that I wish them not to do it or that they wish not to do it. Please honor this and provide assistance.
5. I perhaps should have put this first. Bathrooms are private, even when they are communal! Assistance in locating the entrance to a stall is sometimes appreciated. Assistance in getting into the stall is absolutely not needed. Directions to the toilet are not necessary. While a person is trying to describe the stall to me in great detail, I may be about to burst. Please forgive me if I shut that stall door on your fingers.
Oh yes, and one more thing about bathroom stall… If my stall door has a malfunction, please allow me to be the one to fix it, or to choose another stall. If I get locked in, I will start yelling, I promise.
6. Please remember that when you are offering help, you are helping me. Please don’t force what is most convenient for you on me. There may be a good reason why I ask you not to touch me in a particular location, why I ask you to allow me to interact with staff even though you work at the same facility and they know you, etc.
7. When returning paperwork or belongings to a person who is blind, please give them directly to the person and allow them to put them in their purse/bag. Please do not put them in the bag yourself. It may seem efficient for you to do this, but it is difficult for us to locate things later if someone else has been in our bags and we have no idea where they put things.
8. If someone is using a cane, the purpose of the cane may be to tell you that they have diminished vision or may be to feel what is in front of them. In any case, you can take a deep breath and trust that the person is capable of walking down stairs safely. If they choose not to hold the handrail, it is because they know their own ability. Please don’t put yourself at personal risk of a heart attack by not trusting what I write. I once carried a 16-pound cat and a bowl of cat food down a ladder from an attic. That is a story for another day. That was in 2004, and I am still alive in 2019.
9. If you have difficulty with your left and right, please admit it to us. It will help us to be more accommodating to you. I am more likely to allow someone to touch me if I understand they have difficulty describing. Normally I dislike being touched a lot in public/high anxiety situations.
10. Last, remember that sometimes we don’t need a lot of information. If I ask, “Which way is Main Street?” I don’t mean I want you to walk me there. I mean I want you to point your arm in the direction of Main Street or say “You’re facing it,” etc. (Remember that “Over there” is not helpful. 🙂 If I need more info after your quick answer, I’ll ask.
I hope these are helpful. If you like to chat while you’re helping, we often enjoy this. I met some really neat people this week. My favorite one was the lady who helped me take my dog out for a really quick relief time. My Uber ride said it would arrive in two minutes. I said to the lady, “I need to run like you’ve never run before.” So we ran at some amazing speed that my dog will not run when we work, and we got back just as the Uber arrived. I asked the lady whether anyone else had asked her to run. She said, “No, I’ve just been strolling and thinking this was very nice!”
Several of my helpers this week remembered my name. I also make a point to remember theirs. It is important to me to know your name so that I can thank you and say goodbye to you when we are done doing whatever we’ve been doing. It makes us more human to each other. After all, you are more than a helper to me. You are a person with a family and a life you live. I hope that I am more than a blind person to you to be hauled around and deposited somewhere. If you’re reading this blog, you know that I am a professor, ordained clergy, and I enjoy music and animals and family. Please think of this as you encounter others who are blind. There is something uniquely personal about each of them. These things are most important and need to be honored.
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