Sarah Blake LaRose

Training was not always a smooth experience. It is very intense; and I struggled with a great fear of failure. I realize now that this is a common experience for people who are training with their first dogs. Some people talk about it openly, and some hide it deep inside.

I hid my fear. for many days. At some point, it became necessary for me to talk with Mr. Franck about it. Before I did, I unleashed a torrent of anger upon him.

One of my trips required me to walk a particular route and then reverse it and return to the starting point. Mr Franck told me that I was welcome to alter the route on the reverse journey, as long as I ended up at the starting point.

I felt confident about the general area; so I chose an alternate path and set off. I promptly became lost in a parking lot.

Elli pulled me toward the street. I fought her, afraid of getting too near the moving cars. The more we fought, the more angry I became. I turned this way and that, searching for any sign of the sidewalk I had left behind. I saw Mr. Franck standing a few feet away from me. When I turned, he moved.

Finally, I shouted, “Why aren’t you helping me?”

He said nothing. It was as if he was not there.

Except he was there.

“I see you standing there!” I shouted.

He said nothing.

Elli pulled again. I decided that if he could stand in front of me and say nothing, he might help if I was in serious danger. I followed Elli.

Elli led me up onto a curb that bordered the parking lot and down a sidewalk that paralleled the street–the very sidewalk I had been looking for.

“You need to learn to trust your dog,” Mr. Franck explained. “She doesn’t want to get hurt any more than you do.”

I would never have taken such a risk as a cane user. Who knows how long I might have stood in that parking lot, waiting for someone to rescue me from getting lost! Sadly, a person might have come along and wondered why I was trying to cross a parking lot all by myself. My interactions with sighted people often involved such questions as, “What are you trying to do? Here, let me help you…” These interactions made maintaining my self-respect and dignity difficult.

In spite of my years of training in how to navigate safely with my cane, I was often warned away from the street as if I must not be aware of the nearness of cars or the danger they posed. Young children crossed streets more independently than I did–and they did it simply because their eyes worked. I never felt free to take risks like getting closer to a street in order to get unlost. But in order to work successfully with Elli, I would need to take risks. Something fundamental about my personality would need to change.

Elli never passed any judgments on me for my travel blunders or bad decisions. She never asked, “Where are you trying to go?” as if I was silly for thinking I could attempt such a thing as crossing a busy street by myself. She never told me, “Be careful, there are cars here.” She simply went, or did not go, as the situation demanded. She was my assistant, trained to do her job well.

She was also capable of making mistakes.

It was necessary for me to learn how to discipline Elli when she did not follow my instructions. Discipline is a difficult topic for many people to read about and discuss; but it is crucial to understand that a dog guide is still a dog who has instincts. A distracted dog can place a blind person in serious danger. Over many years, schools have begun using voice commands and positive reinforcement for much of training. However, voice commands do not always recall a dog who is flying after a squirrel. One of my later dogs only needed two leash corrections in her six working years; and both were due to squirrel distractions.

Elli’s greatest distraction was not squirrels. I didn’t learn what it was for quite some time; and when I discovered it, I didn’t have the opportunity to correct her for it.

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About Sarah Blake LaRose

Sarah Blake LaRose teaches Biblical Hebrew and Greek at Anderson University School of Theology and Christian Ministry in Anderson, Indiana. She is one of three blind academic scholars who received the Jacob Bolotin Award from the National Federation of the Blind in 2016 in recognition of innovative work in the field of access to biblical language texts and tools for people who are blind. In addition to her work as a professor, she provides braille transcription services specializing in ancient languages. Her research interests concern the intersection of disability, poverty, and biblical studies.

• Learning From My Younger Self - February 10, 2024
• more reflections on ITD - June 30, 2023
• On travel while at ITD: reflections after day 1 - June 27, 2023
• ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
• ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
• Job Descriptions, Inclusivity, and Equity for People with Disabilities - October 15, 2022
• Traveling without a Guide Dog: Experience with Cane and Walker - October 14, 2022
• Disability and Church, Intersection - June 11, 2022
• Review: When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away - June 11, 2022
• Grammar and Style Resources for Writers - June 9, 2022