My dog continues to act like a travel guru who has had thousands of hours of travel even though we spent two and a half years doing nothing but doctors’ offices after our first academic conference. Perhaps going out of state to the eye specialist has its advantages. I brought a roll-up dog bed, and she snoozes quietly until I get her breakfast ready. Of course, she loves food—she is a retriever! Then, when I pick up her harness, she is ready to dive in for whatever we are doing for the day.
We took a shuttle from the hotel to Baylor yesterday. She found me a side-facing seat and settled at my feet as if we do this every day. At home we travel in cars with volunteer drivers! I guess for my dog this is like riding a bicycle. Never forgotten! It was a huge confidence boost for me, and I think this trip is going to be a major trust-builder for us.
Last evening I skipped out on the conference to have dinner with a very special friend. Jill and I met when we were five and six years old, out on the lawn in front of our families’ houses. Our first meeting and friendship during our childhood was the model of how a friendship between kids with and without disabilities should go. My dad was out doing yardwork one evening, and I was playing in the yard. He said to me, “There’s another girl next door. If you walk over by that big tree you can meet her.” He knew I could see the tree and it was a perfect opportunity for me to initiate, which I did.I can still remember that meeting like it was yesterday. It has been 47 years.
Jill and I shared books… I had some braille books and she found the print ones in the library so we could read together. We got confused because the page numbers were different. I thought my book would have more pages because it was in braille, but it was hers that had more pages. Suddenly she said, “Mine has pictures!!!”
Jill invited me to her activities. I went with her family on weekend vacations, and she remembers me going to church camp with her. I took her to church with me — and I threw a major tantrum when we were separated because she was two grades ahead of me. She went with me to activities at the Lighthouse for the Blind. It never occurred to me or my family that Jill was sighted and the Lighthouse was for blind people. She was Jill and she was my friend. The Lighthouse let her in.
My parents had a closet full of old discarded clothes of my mom’s. My sister and I, and Jill, used them to play in and make up all kinds of stories. We played office in which one of us was the secretary and the other was the boss who had meetings. We played hospital. We played school. We played Little House on the Prairie… My dad graciously did not complain when we took his books off the shelves. I think it was a significant sacrifice—he likes his books in order.
The world needs more of what Jill and I lived. I learned how to trust nondisabled people and think of them as my community because Jill and I were just friends. We never really talked about my blindness. We just lived it. We were so young when we met that she experienced everything with me: my learning to read in braille, eye surgeries, different recreational activities… When I had surgery on my eye and I didn’t want my mom to put drops in my eye, my mom got creative. She invited Jill to come over and be my nurse, just like when we played hospital, except this time we would really have drops. She made it fun and had Jill do things that made me laugh, and I was able to think about Jill instead of thinking about how much the eye drops burned my eye.
Jill drove two hours each way just to have dinner with me. That’s something I will treasure for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I hope we do see each other more times than this!
- Learning From My Younger Self - February 10, 2024
- more reflections on ITD - June 30, 2023
- On travel while at ITD: reflections after day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- Job Descriptions, Inclusivity, and Equity for People with Disabilities - October 15, 2022
- Traveling without a Guide Dog: Experience with Cane and Walker - October 14, 2022
- Disability and Church, Intersection - June 11, 2022
- Review: When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away - June 11, 2022
- Grammar and Style Resources for Writers - June 9, 2022
