This week in my FB readings, I’ve come across some things that have been hard to read. They were meant to be funny. One is a mental illness mem, in which you’re supposed to pick some people from your friends list and plug them into statements. One is the person who helps you get into trouble; one is the one who helps you escape (because the psych hospital is prison-like), etc. I read this and did not find it funny, unlike many other people. Perhaps it’s my personality, or perhaps it is the fact that I have helped a friend sign herself out of a hospital against medical advice after staff injured her while placing her in isolation. Reading the post made me remember sitting with her; and I wondered what she would think and feel if I posted such a thing and made fun of that environment. The idea seemed extremely disrespectful of her experience.
There’s another great joke going around. This one is courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy, and it really is funny until you think about it from outside the box. “Why do they put braille on drive-through ATMs?” From inside the box, only the driver uses the drive-through ATM. I used to think this way, and I laughed at the joke just like everyone else. Then I got the bright idea to sit in the back seat, ask the driver to pull up, and I could use the ATM myself–except that I am too short. But my height is another matter.
The comments make clear that most people don’t think outside the box at all. Maybe the blind people walk up to the ATM (with help, of course). I left a comment about my ATM-use method, which got a couple of likes. I think most people would be happier if I had just found the whole thing funny. For the most part, the fun-poking continued right over me. I could hear the little voice in my head saying things people said to me when I was a kid and I cried about being teased: “They’re just having a little fun. Just walk away. Can’t you take a joke?”
We live lives with double standards. On one hand, as a society we conduct great awareness campaigns about all kinds of things: medical conditions, disabilities, general health and safety, and bullying (including cyber-bullying). On the other hand, as adults, we expect to be able to have a little fun and let our hair down, especially online. I often hear things from adults like, “This is my space. If you can’t handle it, just unfriend me.” Do we really care so little about relationships that we would rather express our own selves than build each other up for the common good? What is this selfish freedom of expression doing to the health of our society?
I purchased a piece of music written by a teenager a few months ago. It is a brilliant piece. It starts:
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt
That’s what she said before she cried.
Can you imagine the little girl hiding her tears in the name of fitting in? I can. Adults do this every day as they try to cope with each other’s abuse of the concept of free speech. The right to free speech was given to us so that we could confront injustice without fear. It was not given to us so that we could freely make fun of each other and place each other in positions of fear–positions in which, by the way, we often tell the people we have just made fun of that they cannot use their own right to free speech to ask us to stop doing what we have done that has wounded them.
At the least, our obsession with free speech at the cost of social respect makes all of us more and more isolated as we push each other away in the name of claiming our personal freedoms. At the most, it leaves all of us open to being wounded as we do not protect each other. Freedom is only freedom if it is also the maturity to act with care toward the other. Without this restraint, freedom descends into anarchy.
I often think back on the shooting that occurred at Columbine High School. The explanation that has often been given for the mental state of one of the shooters is that he felt he didn’t belong to the crowd. It has not escaped my notice that as our online activity has increased in the years since, so has the incidence of shootings. I cannot help but wonder what would happen if we conducted ourselves socially with greater responsibility, especially where jokes and references to minority groups and stigmatized individuals were concerned. Are you curious enough to see what impact such an experiment might have on society? It would involve not only curbing joking behavior but intentionally befriending people and promoting more positive images in order to undo the harm created by negative stereotypes. I will have more to say about how to undo negative stereotypes and build positive awareness in future posts. I hope that perhaps the congregation and some visitors might get on board as well as the choir.
- Learning From My Younger Self - February 10, 2024
- more reflections on ITD - June 30, 2023
- On travel while at ITD: reflections after day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- Job Descriptions, Inclusivity, and Equity for People with Disabilities - October 15, 2022
- Traveling without a Guide Dog: Experience with Cane and Walker - October 14, 2022
- Disability and Church, Intersection - June 11, 2022
- Review: When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away - June 11, 2022
- Grammar and Style Resources for Writers - June 9, 2022
