When I interact with people in public, I invariably encounter the attitude that someone thinks my blindness is hard or presents me great sadness. More often than not, a person goes on expressing their amazement at my bravery and sometimes expressing sorrow at the sadness I must endure. The discussion rarely gets around to a point where I can educate the person about the truth.
If it did, there are many things that I would say about blindness. The sadness that I endure is not for myself, and it has nothing to do with the tragedy of blindness that has befallen me. Yes, blindness is very frustrating at times; but so is being short, and no one apologizes to me when they see that I cannot reach something on a high shelf. A tall person simply helps me by getting it for me because that is how society works.
The great sadness that I feel about blindness is that so many people think I am brave and inspirational, but then they continue to live their own lives feeling that they would be unable to cope with blindness. What special ability do they think I possess that makes me uniquely able to learn to cross the street without the sense of sight, or dress myself, or do numerous other things, that they do not possess? Do people really think that life would have to stop if they became blind? That is the great sadness that I feel.
When a person has a disability, that person has three choices. They can allow the rest of society to manipulate them like a puppet. They can check out of life. Or they can reach out and learn what they need to do to enjoy life and do the things that need doing. I am not brave, and I am certainly not sad about blindness. I am busy living my life–because the other options do not appeal to me at all. If you are a person who enjoys your life, and you look at me and what you see is something that makes you afraid for yourself, then please look again. I am a whole lot more like you than you realize. Think about your own life… What has stood in your way that you had to get around? Is it something that perhaps I would not like if I knew about it? Maybe the only “difference” between us is that you can see my distasteful circumstance and you have the disadvantage of getting to dread not being able to cope with it. If you harbor any secret fears about losing your sight one day, please do yourself a huge favor and lose them. You can and will grieve the loss of your sight on numerous levels–I was born with a small amount of sight and I do grieve each time I lose some of mine. But losing your sight doesn’t actually change who you are or make you unable to live the life you want to live. Most of the change that occurs is inside yourself and in your perceptions of yourself and your relationships; and those are all things that can be shaped with hard work. And what good thing isn’t worth hard work?
I especially wish that I could encourage seniors with this, because losing one’s sight does not have to mean the end of one’s joy or contribution to society. Young blind people do all kinds of fun and useful things, and there is no reason why an older person cannot do the same if they want to and set their mind to it. Losing one sense is an opportunity for you to discover new places in your brain that have perhaps never been touched in your life. This could be the most exciting piece of your life yet. Don’t check out on it.
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Love nd totally agree with this!