When I preached about the woman with the twelve-year hemorrhage, I dramatized… I talked about her going to doctor after doctor, dealing with pain, etc. I said, “I got used to the pain… But I never got used to the aloneness. People stopped coming around because they didn’t want to hear it… I never got used to the aloneness…”
In that moment, I wasn’t just telling the story of the hemorrhaging woman. I could have been telling my own story. People get on with their own lives, and they don’t come around because of that, and they don’t come around because they don’t want to talk, even about the good parts. I live the only things I can do, and a lot of it is either disability issues or deep spiritual or emotional issues… I got used to the chronic pain a long time ago–I don’t go to the ER, even when I should. But I have never gotten used to the aloneness and probably won’t.
At the end, I talked about Jesus calling her daughter and healing her… I talked about her realizing that he had much more to give her than she understood, that it wasn’t just her physical healing, that she didn’t have to be alone anymore… I made myself cry, because I realized that I was talking about myself and there are times when I do not know how to get to that point in my own life where I am not alone anymore. I have experienced moments of community… But when they are over, the aloneness stretches out as I go about the practical tasks of living with chronic illness. I do not understand the conflicting messages I receive from various sources. You are all-sufficient, but You created us to live in community… What does this mean for a person who has no family and takes on the task of living with difficult personal challenges alone?
- Learning From My Younger Self - February 10, 2024
- more reflections on ITD - June 30, 2023
- On travel while at ITD: reflections after day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- ITD day 1 - June 27, 2023
- Job Descriptions, Inclusivity, and Equity for People with Disabilities - October 15, 2022
- Traveling without a Guide Dog: Experience with Cane and Walker - October 14, 2022
- Disability and Church, Intersection - June 11, 2022
- Review: When Chronic Pain and Illness Take Everything Away - June 11, 2022
- Grammar and Style Resources for Writers - June 9, 2022
